Some say he is 5 feet tall with lead in his feet, others say 6 feet tall with air in his head...but he doesnt care what you say. All we know is... Some say he knows two facts about ducks, and that both of them are wrong. All we know is... Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic. All we know is... Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is... Some say he was the one who actually pulled Excalibur from the stone and that he is the rightful king of England. All we know is... Some say he's actually dead...but the Grim Reaper is too scared to tell him. All we know is... Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat. All we know is... Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin, & that wherever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts. All we know is... Some say that after a horrible accident in his days as a glam hair band roadie, he gave up prunes. All we know is... Some say that after a religious experience in the mountains of Tibet, he refuses to eat anything that isn't purple. All we know is... Some say that all his potted plants are called Steve, and that he has a life size tattoo of his face.. on his face. All we know is... Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue. All we know is... Some say that he can hypnotise sheep, and that if he could be bothered he could swim the Atlantic ocean - underwater. All we know is... Some say that he claims he discovered the Sun, as well as invented the apostrophe. All we know is... Some say that he has the uncanny ability to use the words "uncanny ability". All we know is... Some say that he invented a new sort of tree, but it never caught on and that if you knew what he knows you'd wake up screaming. All we know is... Some say that he is 's only botanist with a fear of plants, brought on by a sentient, murderous rhododendron species. All we know is... Some say that he is incapable of making the same facial expression three times in an hour. All we know is... Some say that he is one of the protons in the Large Hadron Collider, and that he creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes. All we know is... Some say that he lives in a tree and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals. All we know is... Some say that he once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters, and that once, he actually punched God. All we know is... Some say that he once killed a giraffe with just his feet and that he has a black belt in paper maché. All we know is... Some say that he once saved Quebec by eating 47 cases of Valentine heart candies that were in the wrong language. All we know is... Some say that he once wrote the "Rocky III" of champion Jenga players, then celebrated by eating eighteen boxes of SweetTarts. All we know is... Some say that he plays tennis by assuming Sareena or Venus Williams' form, but his weakness is a constant hunger for Werthers Originals. All we know is... Some say that he spends his nights sneaking into his neighbors houses and labelling all of their stuff to satisfy his OCD. All we know is... Some say that he spends his time painting neo-impressionist art on cows, just to make farmers mad. All we know is... Some say that he still refuses to admit that the US won their independence, and is the most sour person to be around at July 4th parties. All we know is... Some say that he thinks he's the Hulk, but without all that gamma radiation. All we know is... Some say that he was the world champion of Slip n' Slide until a probe into illegal waxing practices stripped him of the title. All we know is... Some say that he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells. All we know is... Some say that his health care plan consists of two gallon-sized bottles of orange-flavored Robitussin and a sheep. All we know is... Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark. All we know is... Some say that his most prized possession is a grain of rice with his name on it that he got in a mall long since closed. All we know is... Some say that his pets once staged an intervention for the prime minister of France. All we know is... Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground. All we know is... Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees. All we know is... Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch. All we know is... Some say that the only thing he orders at Starbucks is a vente cup of raw tea leaves. All we know is...